I am in a hole known as Peru, IL. The hotel I’m staying at has the dirtiest phone lines I have ever dialed up across. I cannot seem to connect for more than five minutes every hour. When I am not connected, I am trying to connect and either constantly trying to reconnect or getting bumped off immediately after I do. I must be getting punished by the Internet gods for some reason. Which raises an interesting question….if there were an Internet God, who would it be?